The authors or sources of the following items are indicated where known. If you know of a source that is not attributed here, please let me know - Items and articles on this site.

"Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away".
Sir Thomas Beecham
Brass Bands Humour

• Adjudicators' Remarks and Other Odd Utterances
• Advantages of being an Eb Soprano Player
• Adventure Story - interactive + contribute your own chapters
• The Archetypal Brass Band
• Band Anagrams
• Band Definitions
• Band Excuse List - Oughtibridge Band
• Band Instrument Jokes - focus on marching/concert bands
• Band Member's Prayer - by Carol Wills
• Band Parenting in the '00's - an American view - extensive guidance!
• Band Players as Food Items - Battle Town Band
• Band Room Anecdotes
• Banding Stuff - including The Teletubass and Pi**ed Up! the Soap Opera
• Bandroom Pictures
• Bandsman's Prayer - Alcoholic
• Bar Lines
• Baton Problems
• Bert the Bandsman - Harborough Band
• Bob's Cartoons
• Book of Banding Anecdotes - Hathersage Band
• Brass Band Adjudicators
• Brass band auditions
• Brass Band Characters
• Brass band drug scandal
• Brass band fun and stories
• Brass Band Graffiti
• Brass Band Quiz
• Brass Playing Mishaps
• Britain for Americans - a view of brass bands
• Change of Instrumentation - 2000 National Finals
• Collective Nouns for Brass Band Instrumentalists
• The Compère's Handbook - a book containing tips on the art and loads of jokes
• Concert Disasters And Other Stories - from the Internet Brass-Band Mailing List
• Crazy Awards
• Daftest Words Ever Uttered in a Band Room - Bilton Silver Band
• Eighteen Steps to improve Muker Silver Band
• Electronic Fingering Attachment
• Extreme Banding
• Finius P Cockwinkles Chutney Works Band
• Five Tips on How to be a Good Bandsman - this is serious
• Golden Rules For Ensemble Playing
• Great Banding Moments - Drogheda Brass Band
• Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy - entry on Brass Bands + discussion forum
• Hornmaker - Don Shaffer: - the art of making musical instruments at home for fun and self-defence
• Hosaphone Headquarters
• How To Organize A Brass Band - an extract from an 1875 guide
• Human Brass Music
• Humour - Aveley and Newham Band
• Humour - North Fylde Brass Band
• International All Star Band
• Infractions
• Instrument Colloquialisms
• Irish Blessing - serious: a beautiful sentiment
• Is it the call I'm seeking! - a musician's reflections on a lifetime of reacting to the call of bugles
• Lock and Weir Pavement Orchestra - a history and archive of a unique musical organisation
• Mystery Faces and Cartoons - City of Stoke Brass
• Myths and Legends - City of Stoke Brass
• Official Band Dictionary - for marching band and drum corps
• The Ophicleide
• Pictures Gallery - Unusual and Brassy
• Quotes and Tips of the Week - Battle Town Band
• Rehearsal Problem-Solving Flowchart - by Carol Wills
• Rules for Band Practice - from an old journal
• Rules of Behaviour
• Scientists Pucker Up To World Of Top Brass
• Sergeant Sheep - story, game, advice - Ystradgynlais Band
• Signs You've Been In Band Too Long
• Smokers' delight
• So Many Drummers, So Little Time
• The Society for High Art Music
• Team Trombone - Legends in Their Own Opinions
• Ten Commandments of Brass Instrument Preventative Maintenance
• Ten Things You'll Never Hear Your Conductor Say
• Trombone Cartoons
• Trombone Legislation
• Trombonists and Trumpet Players
• Trombonists Guide to Musical Notation
• Trumpet Geeks International
• Tuba Snippets
• Ways to Know if You've Been in Band too Long - marching band
• Whitwell Band Humour
• World's Smallest Trombone
• You Might Be A Contrabass Maniac If:

General Music Humour

• Accordion Adventures with the River City Brass Band - by Henry Doktorski
• Air Lute: A Short Historical Perspective
• Alto's Lament
• Application to play orchestral trombone
• Avril Ngaire Poisson and Europe
• Band Player Horoscopes
• Best of the Worst Country Music Song Titles
• Bitcheril attitude suppressant
• Bob's Opera Madness
• Brass Players Real Rules of Engagement/Behaviour
• Cabaret/Broadway Definitions
• The Canonical List of Touch-Tone Phone Songs
• Caring for a bandsman (piper) - could apply to any musician!
• Carmen - a translated synopsis
• Cello Concerto
• Choral Singer's Guide to Keeping the Conductor in Line
• Classical Music Bloopers
• A Disastrous Piano Recital
• Eugene Ormandy Quotes
• Explosive Trombone - see also: Man Slides His Trombone And Kills Musician, and
• Trombone of Contention
• Faerie's Air and Death Waltz - - - alternative large (460K version)
• Fascinating Aida
• First Vienna Vegetable Orchestra
• Flanders & Swann
• Flanders & Swann - The Hat
• Flanders & Swann Online
• Fractured Titles of Music
• Gerard Hoffnung
• Golden Rules For Ensemble Playing
• Great Concert Disasters
• Guide to the Orchestra
• Haydn's Chopin Liszt at Vivaldi's
• How to Cook a Conductor
• How to Sing the Blues
• Humour: A Serious Business
• Hymns for Occupations
• Ideas for New Operas
• If my trumpet were a car, what make would it be?
• International Session Orchestra
• Keeping conductors in Line
• Mathematics for Musicians
• Misheard Lyrics and Song Parodies
• Misprinted Music Library Catalogue Entries
• MIT Instrument Jokes
• MooMoo - from Edmund Spencer's "The Daerie Queen"
• Murphy's Law Applies to Music
• Music Humor Gifts - The North American School of the Artsy and Somewhat Musically Inclined
• Musical Anecdotes
• Musical Definitions
• Musical Instrument Jokes
• Musical Intolerance - a story by Mark Twain
• Musical Malapropisms
• Musical Malaprops
• Musical Progression
• Musical Quotes
• Musical Terms (1)
• Musical Terms (2)
• Musical Terms (3)
• Musical Terms Commonly Misunderstood by Country & Western Musicians
• Musical Top Ten Lists
• Musical weapons of mass destruction
• Musically Functional Porcelain Bugles
• The New Beaujolais Symphony Orchestra
• New Rules for the Conductor of a New Age
• A Night at the Oopera
• No Laughing Matter: The Viola Joke as Musician's Folklore
• Obfuscated Christmas Carol Titles
• Opera and Song Mistranslations
• Opera for the Culturally Illiterate
• Opera Notes
• Opera Roles
• Operatic Dictionary
• Orchestral Efficiency
• OXymoron Humour Archive: Music
• A Paen to City Life
• P.D.Q. Bach
• Piano Humour
• Politically Correct Musical Works
• Program notes from an unidentified piano recital
• Quiz for String Quartets
• Quotations Of Leif Segerstam
• Retiring Conductor
• Richard Strauss' Rules for Conductors
• School Horns
• Silence is golden
• Simple Metronome Construction Kit
• A Smoke-Free Carmen
• Some general music humour
• Spence's Music Jokes
• Stories and Test Questions from Missouri Music Teachers
• String Portraits
• Ten Green Bottles
• Test Yourself for Music Addiction
• Texas Institute of (Music) Theory - A wonderfully satirical site!
• They've Got the Clap
• Those 6 o'clock Staff Meetings
• Tom Lehrer
• Translations of Composers' Names
• The True History Of Covent Garden
• 21st Century Tempo Markings and other Musical Atrocities
• Types of Musical Instrument
• Types of Player
• Ugly Classical CD Covers
• Viola Bow - America's latest fitness craze
• Viola Notes
• Victor Borge
• Victor Borge
• Waltzing Matilda
• What is your Opera Index?
• You Know You Are A Musical Geek If......
• A Young Person's Guide to the Chorus

---

For more general humour, visit